I am restless and have a keyboard…. be afraid….very afraid!!! lol

A small select band of prisoners turned up for a Fit Camp stylee beasting… and we got concept exercises for a moderm marketplace… Olivier ‘Commode George’ P’ton took the session and has got some great ideas showing us a taste of what’s to come!!!

Lots of dizzying rolling through the grass followed by exercises consist of dizzying rolling through the grass!!! There were 5 ladies there tonight… it’s been a while since I rolled through grass with 5 ladies… don’t you miss the rave days of olde!!! lol

I have a theory that P’ton nicked Zippy Glover’s training plan… I can almost hear P’ton shouting at his PC ‘yeah right whatever’.

The Hobbit had a great time, toes permed to perfection.

Bloody tough session. Lots of dynamic exercises.

We saw AB and Slugger Fuggley in the car park smiling and fresh faced as we stood there knackered and sweat soaked covered in grassy off cuts…. no fair! lol

I got home to a Facebook blog by Kendal telling me that he has tried 3 runs in Turkey on holiday!!!!!!!! Huh? There’s no ‘run’ in ‘holiday’ will be the new cry.

I am knackered, restless and considering doing a session at Sutton tomorrow with Zippy. I’ve had a pretty amazing week, rounded off with tonight’s Fit Camp and I reckon I won’t sleep so we’ll see how I feel in the morning.

I am busy Monday night in another country called Cornwall! So if not tomorrow then roll on Wednesday!

Before I go tonight, I have been sitting here thinking back about Fit Camp and I seem to remember a time in the distant past when there was some guy called something like ‘Howes’ or ‘Hughie’ or ‘Hughes’ or something like that. Anyone else remember him? He seemed to have a basic understanding of fitness…. wonder if we’ll ever see him again?

We were honoured by the precence of a newbie prisoner… Ruud Van Nistelrooy and he turned up with his Dutch international top on. He had a warm welcome from most of us. There’s always one person though who takes it too far! Fresh from her dancing days at the Humming Bird whilst stalking me …. Slugger Thorne pile drived Ruud into the dirt not once, but twice, during a ‘tag’ game of bulldog. Sorry Ruud, we just can’t take her anywhere sometimes!!! Maz, having learnt her lesson in a prior bulldog session, gave Nikki a wide berth to avoid a stray elbow.

We had 2 games of bulldog. Well done AB for being last man standing in one game. In another game I felt I had to slow down a tad to enable Si McNeilly to tag me with the merest of fingertips… if I had kept going at a constant speed then I would have embarrassed him! lol

Loads and loads of running tonight, when not round the small field then up and down the flood defences!!! Kendal has really missed out. I have been watching Facebook closely and no reports of ‘Kendal has run 500km at 08.30am’ …. anybody would think he is resting on holiday.

A quiet session to start with, just the feint waft of Jagermeister drifitng across the field … dunno why? Any ideas anyone? But the banter flowed again later.

Di Glover needs to change her number plates to ZG… as in Zippy Glover.

There was some fast sprints tonight. AB can’t half shift when she wants to. Must be all that running to get the last chocolate fountain for her wedding. Kev Marsh is always up there but Ian impressed with his increase in sprint speeds to finish off circuits.

Good to see Julia and Debbie too. In fact a good turnout for a bank holiday weekend from all.

Bring on Wednesday…….

Oliver… has the sort of twang to his voice where you’d expect him to be decked out in a harris tweed jacket for a workout with jodphurs and matching woollen underwear hand-knitted by the staff….. like they used to make him wear at boarding school no doubt!!! That’s the sort of breeding and nurture that gives the sort of fella that would be referred to as a ‘chap’ amongst friends in the old boy network….

Now, at the other end of the social scale, what sort of chap resorts to pushing ‘practically blood’ relatives into the way of fellow prisoners during tag bulldog? Welcome Kendal… knows what needs doing in a crisis as he pushed Slugger into the waiting arms of the opposing prisoners in order to save his own skin. I’m alright Jack, pull up the ladder…. lol. Not that I blame him, you need toughness and a ruthless streak to hold your own after you marry into the TSM Mafia and so I suspect it has been more nurture than nature for Kendal.

What about Nikki though? Well now that’s more nature than nurture… rugby tackling a fellow prisoner to the ground during ‘tag’ bulldog…. 2 ladies rolling in the wet grass… the stuff dreams are made of I am sure but a little ruthless!! lol

Not that Nikki was the only member of the clan to find herself on the floor during the session… oh no! Jules ‘slipped’ during a run and got lots of caring attention as she got back to her feet. But I am having none of it…. you’ll recall I pointed out that the TSM Mafia get their money by extorting the council on threat of stealing turf (for legal reasons I point out that this is all make believe!!! )… that ‘slip’ by Jules was obviously her just casing the next heist by looking at the grass close up!! I am on to you Jules and there’ll be no sympathy from me.

6 of the group today did the second Friday Fit Camp session only some 15 or so hours earlier… I say second session but it was actually the first official session but unofficially second session after P’ton turned up on a Friday a few weeks ago!!! Well done Maz, Goff, Kendal, Nikki and P’ton for making it to the session today although Ollie was training us so didn’t go hell for leather!!

Ensor took the session last night… after photoshop’ing his profile pic on Facebook… no way can you hang horizontally off a vertical pole…. well there was one lady I saw in Orange No5 in Vancouver during the 90’s but no way are there 2 of you!!!

Tough, tough session last night and tough session again today courtesy of Ollie and Diana. My body is beyond aching and feeling numb… when it starts to heal then I’ll no doubt go through the aching phase!!! lol
Diana has nicknamed me Bungle a la Rainbow but I think it warrants her new nickname of Zippy!

Ian Justin was out in front all day today. Maz and Goff invented new exercises to make band work and kicking more difficult… ‘cos it’s sooo easy already!! Smithy, blimey he can shift…. Ollie I reckon you are almost out of the top 3 in running speed terms! If Stevie Harris turns up again then you’ll be down to 5th….. maybe 6th. Claire, can you get your brother down to Fit Camp again please?

I took a bean bag to the mush…. good shot Kendal!!! If you are reading this and wondering what I am talking about then you weren’t there and you really missed out!

New idea for Fit Camp: perhaps we can have a calorie counter that works out how many cals you burned and then converts that into 1) pints; or 2) chips; 3) deep fried mars bars; 4) various takeaway meals… that way you know quickly how much junk you can feed yourself with.. Last Wednesday was Chinese Wednesday so today I reckon was Fish and Chips Saturday!!

Finally Nikki, told me she had removed plasters off each of her knees last night. I could explain this comment but I think I’ll leave it to your imagination as to what she’s been doing……. lol

A well run session by Olivier P’ton and Di Zippy Glover with Simon McNeilly hiding in the background!

Roll on Monday, if I can get my limbs to work!!!!!

Ollie and Di ran a great session tonight. I had to miss out on the session due to a pre-exisiting injury. And it was a boxing session!!!!!!

If I do blog again then I may use a pseudonym. Some name that possibly couldn’t be real, a name that’s obviously made up and deserves some leg puuling…hmmmm… let me see…. yep got it! Ollie Potton.

Looking forward to being injury-free again and getting stuck in as a prisoner.

Fingers crossed for Wednesday.

Another good hard…session today. More equipment than we had seen for some weeks. Couldnt be anything to do with the Oppo in the other field. Although it was noticeable that their clientel was full of young females….are we going to see a few defections to the oppo? Probably not, but it was nice to see some glamour in the field as Dave aint cutting it for me….a little more rouge Dave, please.

After the toys, came the hill and after been given a bum steer by dirty diana (ask Olly where his binoculars are btw) it was a tough session up and down that hill, filled in with boxing. Then following that by a even tough set of up hill bunny hops.

Then back to the toys - noticeably more tired, but giving it our all again.

Well done to all and well done guys in showing the oppo how to run a proper fit camp session. Them birds looked like they were having too much fun…too many smiles as we walked past, which means IF IT AINT HURTIN’ IT WEREN’T WORKIN’.

See you all next week.

ps. Si / Dave, if you fancy nicking some of the totty from the oppo, we won’t grumble

The 2 wizards ( one a force for good and one a force for evil!! ) have a talent for making Hobbitses disappears. Not in the theme of modern tricks of new where one simply vanishes in seconds and a puff of smoke.. oh no…. they makes you disappears slowly and painfully around the waist over a number of hours during torture using hillocks and your own body weight against you!!! One day this will surely be outlawed as too heinous a crime for young humans…. but Hobittses are fair game!

Across the way the Orcs of another army trained by running with little use of equipment. You may not of noticed the Orcs as they blend into the backgprund of normal Tamuth folks!!

A fair pace was maintained by all throughout the session as Gollum was scratting around, scarey and pale skinned and searching for a badge… always a badge with an ancient symbol…. a ‘V’ followed by a ‘W’…. and once he finds the VW badge there he starts his chamois style magic with a hint of ye olde stylee karate kid…. wax on…. wax off.

And still the (very) old wizards exacts their magicks and Doobro Baggins considers getting a feet perm to attract the men folk.

I feel this saga could run for many hours and make a blockbusting film one day…….

Roll on Monday.

I didn’t realise it was a fancy dress themed training event last night. Ollie came as ‘gay disco’ putting the camp into Fit Camp! lol Ollie was egged on by Sarah to remove his baggy shorts to show off his running tights he did however not take up that challenge. Talking of running tights, where is Stevie Harris? Clare, have a word and get him back down for some punishment…. ermmm I mean fitness training.

It was another tough session. We ran a mile between the actual exercises!!! Then we were reintroduced to those bloomin’ flood defences!!! Running backwards and forwards to pass the time was a real killer. Time to resurrect the Abolish the Flood Defences League me thinks, look out for the online petition soon. It’s time we eradicated lactic acid burn for good! lol

I remember the days when I used to turn up and see loads of equipment (most of which you never got to use anyhow! lol) but now the most dreaded bit of kit is the humble cone!! A set of cones and the dreaded words from the GI’s of ‘we’re using your own body weight as part of the exercises tonight’!!!!

I think we sacred James off from last week… come back… all is forgiven lol. Good to see Debbie hanging on in there even through injury. Hayden is disappearing in front of our eyes.

The real effort came from AB. How you could eat all that fried food and chocolate at our place the other night and still train like that is amazing. Wish I could have seen your food diary this week. It must have been quite bad as Chris never even made it to the session! Si, feel free to use this information as you see fit during AB’s personal training sessions! lol

Great warm up and cool down from Ollie and Di respectively. The training in the middle was OK!

We often get asked if we have enjoyed Fit Camp. ‘Enjoy’ isn’t quite the word and Craig hit the nail on the head when he said not ‘enjoyed’ more ‘endured’ but you know we all love it!! So have you all endured Fit Camp?

Looking forward to my next beasting. I will be with you all on Monday.

Do you all know there is a skateboarding move called the Ollie?…. you just can’t make this stuff up. The Ollie is a basic move that gives the illusion of the skatebaord sticking to your feet whilst you go through the air and is a basic technique for lots of other technical moves!

Ollie took Fit Camp today!

I turned down the opportunity to go wakeboarding today….. for free…. with a guy who is in the top 10 professional wakeboarders in the UK…. so that I could go to Fit Camp in the rain!!!! There’s a definiton of madness!

It was a great turn out today. Ollie’s first full-ish session and it was tough. We ended up having done 450 reps!!!! That’s the spirit young Oliver ‘Commode’ P’ton.

Good to see Debbie back again. And a welcome Saturday return by Kerrin.

My limbs are aching. The sesions have been tough recently and the recovery rate of a 30 year old male (ahem…..) is struggling with Fit Camp!!! lol

This saw me in the slightly easier group surrounded by ladies ready for a workout. Call it Lynx effect or plain good fortune…. but long may it reign!

Short sprint shuttles and blasts of arm exercises, core and legs followed for the hour. No wonder the weight continues to drop off!

It was a great warm down from Diana once Dave and Ollie had run off to their secret rendezvous point at the hotel in Solihull! Cue a beasting from Dave for this comment! lol

Anyway, it’s late Saturday and I need Beauty sleep + I have got Si texting me whilst writing.

Roll on Monday………..

Debs has asked me to write her a speech for the next session…. so soon it won’t be just the blog where you get to hear my drivel !!!

I am increasingly getting nicknamed Super Ted, a variation on my nickname to the 2 or 3 closest family members… they call me Ted… my sidekick, Spotty, today was newbie James. Fair play to James, he did the run round the long field on both occasions. James also did every exercise …. that’s the spirit.

Speaking of newbies, Debbie came back again. Nice to see you again and long may it continue.

Ollie had his love handles pinched again…. he so loves it. I had my bum pinched…. I so love it! lol

I had better mention that Kate beat me on a run…. Talking about running order, there was another newbie but I didn’t get his name. he is fast too. So P’ton must be 3rd in the running pecking order these days.

Great warm downs Ollie. The calf muscles get a better stretch the way you do them.

Looking forward to more ‘Spar Jumps’ and ‘Stotty Dogs’ on Saturday.

Boxing tonight. It was a welcomed rest for the legs after Saturday. I have to admit that they are still aching a wee bit after the sideways crabbing up the vertical slope… never again!!!

Simon Mc took the session assisted by Olivier P’ton aka ‘Commode’ and they did a good job. They had us running short shuttle sprints and then doing various boxing combo’s. It was tough going but no surprises to see 2 of the Thorne Sisterhood Mafia, Slugger and Jules, finishing up in front of the rest of the group…. slugging just comes naturally to that clan! Next week they’ll show us how to punch so it leaves no bruises.

We finished up with a surf session, with no ocean, waves or boards…. but it was good. Lie down, jump up and sprint, no waves to help you along the way. The lifeguards (Si and Olivier) just watching on as we all struggled on the turf surf! The slight scent of canadian goose on my front was very attractive….. not!

Good to see Ian and Kate back. No AB or Chris Robey. Kendal’s head was still clearing after the weekend.

I partnered Ian again tonight. It was nearly Clare but a quick change in pairings to balance out the sexes saw me swap. Ian, those burpees where you voluntarily add an extra tuck jump on the end…. sheer amazing craziness! Keep it up!!!

Olivier P’ton mentioned that he enjoyed having his love handles pinched throughout the evening and that EVERY Fit Camp attendee should keep doing this!…… or did I make that up, I just can’t recall now?

Anyway. Good session. See you all on Wednesday!